Starting from Tao Zhe's songs#
I have been listening to Tao Zhe's songs since last year. At first, my favorite was the song "Heart in Chaos". I thought he sang it really well. But as I listened more, I realized he has so many great songs. Many of Tao Zhe's songs have a common theme, which is to search for the meaning of life. I never expected that there would be such songs in the Chinese music industry, apart from love songs.
"Squeezed in the bus like a sardine,
Going to work and coming back is a routine,
Where are all these people going?
Every face shows helplessness,
Mom and dad have no love for each other,
Is this the truth of life?"
- Finding Yourself
I really want to say something, but I feel like I have nothing to say. I only hate myself for not being able to escape from this prison. Maybe I am a useless little bug. I shouldn't keep dreaming. You are not a hero. The falling leaves prove the change of seasons, but I am in a daze and can't wake up. Will you choose to be a hero or will you give up?
- Black Lime
Of course, there are also more straightforward songs like "Runaway":
I want to runaway, runaway,
Don't want to doubt myself anymore,
Let go of everything,
Runaway, runaway,
Like being trapped in the fog,
Restlessly wanting to escape from the bewildering reality, yeah,
You think too simply, do you think you can do everything you want to do?
Hey, where are you going with the car keys? Don't forget you have to go to work tomorrow. Don't fool around outside,
The wind blows through my messy hair under the night sky,
Endless road, endless freedom,
I want to runaway, runaway,
Don't want to doubt myself anymore,
Let go of everything,
Just hurry up and runaway,
I can runaway, runaway,
Don't want to doubt myself anymore,
Do it for myself, not for anyone else,
Don't care about runaway, yeah yeah,
Many people are saying, constantly saying, you must do it this way, can't do it that way, but there is no way to break through in your own life, oh yeah,
If you don't leave now, you will never leave. Don't let yourself turn back. How can there be freedom without struggle? Hurry up and go.
Resignation#
On May 12th, the day when The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was released, I resigned from my company. I used to work as a front-end developer using Vue. I had been working there for almost two years and recently got a raise. The company was quite stable, but I had to work overtime every day, and the project deadlines were unreasonable. I wanted to leave work early even if it meant having a lower salary. According to the company's performance evaluation system, low performance would result in a 20% salary reduction. Could I refuse to work overtime and voluntarily accept the lower performance evaluation? I didn't try, I just wanted to leave quickly. My attitude at that time was quite negative, lacking the courage of @shengxj1. Recently, I learned more about the story of Dasheng, and I admire him even more.
When I submitted my resignation, everyone said that the job market outside was bad and it would be difficult to find a job, and that everyone in other companies also worked overtime. My idea was that I wanted a job that made me happy and gave me a sense of achievement. Money was not that important to me. I actually planned not to get married, buy a house, or have children, so I didn't feel much pressure about money.
After that, I didn't look for a new job. A relative asked me if I needed a referral at Alibaba, but I declined.
Lying Flat#
After returning home, I spent every day surfing the internet, mostly on Xiaohongshu, X, and Bilibili. On Xiaohongshu, I mainly looked at beautiful women. Every time I saw a beautiful woman, I couldn't help but save her photo. Most of the tens of thousands of photos on my phone are pictures of beautiful women. It's overwhelming to organize them, and decision-making is the most mentally exhausting thing. I've had this problem since I started using Jike a few years ago. How can I find useful photos from tens of thousands of pictures? Maybe I should just delete them all. Xiaohongshu is also a guide to modern life, where I find a lot of information that other platforms don't have. On Xiaohongshu, I also came across an introduction to ADHD. I suspect that I have this condition because many of the symptoms match. I have both ADHD and FOMO, and I have wasted so much time. On X, I mainly read international and domestic news, technical discussions on programming, digital nomads, and English learning. On Bilibili, I mainly watch TV and movie reviews, game content, and "lying flat" content.
Recently, I watched a video on Bilibili that explained the movie "Lust, Caution". It said that Tang Wei's character prioritized her love for resisting the Japanese over her personal relationships, which is why the movie was banned. Wang Leehom's character loved Tang Wei, but let another comrade have a relationship with her, which was a big mistake. If I were the character played by Wang Leehom, could I consider myself more?
Applying for WHV#
While browsing Xiaohongshu, I saw that New Zealand and Australia have opened up working holiday visas for mainland China. The age limit for application is under 30. New Zealand offers 1000 spots each year, while Australia offers 5000 spots. The application for New Zealand opens on August 1st on the New Zealand Immigration website, while Australia requires filling out a form and waiting for a lottery. The spots for New Zealand have already been hyped up to 16,000 RMB each by intermediaries on Taobao.
After learning about this information, I thought it might be a path worth considering, but I didn't pay too much attention to it. Later, Dasheng held a live session on X, and I had a conversation with him on stage. That's when I decided to apply for a working holiday visa and give it a try. I filled out the application form for Australia first and then waited for August 1st to apply for New Zealand. I didn't use an intermediary, but I prepared a server with low latency connected to the New Zealand Immigration website using Cloudflare. On August 1st, the website crashed at the beginning. After refreshing for over half an hour, I successfully secured a spot. Later, I heard that intermediaries were attacking their website, so I observed how intermediaries used scripts to grab spots. The whole process was done without a GUI, only with scripts. It required some technical skills.
After securing a spot, I had to prepare other documents. The most important one was the English proficiency test. I could take either PTE or IELTS, and the price for both exams was around 2000 RMB. PTE has a question bank, and the speaking test is done with a computer, while IELTS involves speaking with an examiner. Many people online said that it's easier to achieve the required score in PTE. After studying the question bank for a few days, I took the exam and passed on my first attempt. I had originally prepared for four attempts, and based on my exam results, my English level is approximately equivalent to IELTS 5.5, similar to Dasheng.
Recently, I submitted all the required documents and after waiting for two to three days, I finally received my working holiday visa for New Zealand.
On X, everyone says that salaries in New Zealand are low, like in rural areas, and that the income of a programmer is similar to that of a janitor. I think the people on X are too high-level, and my requirements are not that high. I hope to find what I want in New Zealand.
What's Next#
First of all, I want to learn English and aim to achieve a score of 6.5 in IELTS before going abroad. I have read a lot of English learning content on X and have also explored many AI English learning products. I am the kind of person who wants to feel fully prepared before starting something. Is this also a problem?
I have also heard that overseas, programmers need to have some knowledge of both front-end and back-end development, and React is widely used. So, I plan to learn React, Next, and Nest. But I am actually very interested in Python web scraping, and I have heard that web3 has a low entry barrier and good job prospects. I have actually studied some of these topics, and I have many books and online resources related to them, but I have been wasting time and haven't really learned them, just like the joke about learning English, always learning to abandon.
Do I really want to go abroad? Or should I become a digital nomad and find a remote job? For someone like me who just graduated from school, self-studied, and worked on mediocre projects for two years, what is the better choice?